this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Congratulations! We have a period
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