My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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