i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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