I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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