I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
