That's when you crack a 10am beer
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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