it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
try to milk me bitch
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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