i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
