I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
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He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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