Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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