My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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