I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just had sex bonerless
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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