yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
