we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
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My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
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Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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