so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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