after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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