i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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