i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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