I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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