Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
