Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
