I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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