i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
