so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize