tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
