Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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