yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
one might say we're banned from that church
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
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Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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