I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He passed out mid-signature
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
