I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize