Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize