Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
