too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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