I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize