i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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