Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
