I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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