I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
