high people should be assigned attendants
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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