it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
