3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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