guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Even my vagina gasped.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
