Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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