i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
