I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize