check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
