There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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