She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
