Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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