You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
