It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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