you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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