Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
