omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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