i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my shit smells like andre
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
