Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize