I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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