Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i think my cat just said my name.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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