he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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